


Happy Hat

by JaeNunyah



Category: Pink Floyd, The Beatles, The Who, Wizarding World - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25799407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaeNunyah/pseuds/JaeNunyah
Summary: Hogwarts AU where the lads meet the hat
Kudos: 10





	1. Revolution 9 3/4

**Author's Note:**

> I know "Harry Potter" is the common way to tag this fandom, but don't much care about a baby made famous just because he didn't die. "Wizarding World" or "Rowlingverse" is how I'd rather describe JKR's glorious Hogwarts novels. Wondered upon discovering brilliant series how my favorite British bands would have fared beneath Hat's insightful brim, and since the Author Herself has come under cruel scrutiny lately, felt compelled to share these tiny tidbits in Her honor.

"Harrison, George!"

Settling upon skinny lad's prominent ears, The Sorting Hat feels suffused with an immediate sense of warmth and light.

"Bright in every sense of the word...brilliant, even. Dear boy, you're one in a million. A true son of the sun. Where might you shine best? Hmmm...brave and loyal enough for Gryffindor, but perhaps a shade too humble...too quiet. They'd take advantage of your good nature. Better be...HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Lennon, John!"

The Hat's rip of a mouth twists wryly. This one's a fighter...

"Got it all figured out do you? No, you're NOT a Ravenclaw. Sharp and keen, oh yes, but a bit lazy. Streak of selfishness...jealousy...potential for cruelty. Let's hope we can discourage THAT. Stop quibbling, I'm not your Sunday-school teacher. This isn't a sentence, so you needn't appeal. No house is 'better' than another, but the best fit for YOU is...SLYTHERIN!"

"McCartney, James!"

A flurry of piano arpeggios ripple like delighted laughter as The Hat realizes this boy THINKS in music.

"Such order and precision...diligence and devotion...and manners, as well? Charming. I'm pleased to meet you, too, lad. You'll be one who makes the splendid seem simple. You're an obvious...RAVENCLAW!"

"Starkey, Richard!"

The Hat knows JUST where to sort this stable, hard working, decent soul, but offers a few words of encouragement first.

"You're the foundation, my boy. The 'rock', so to speak. With your backbeat to bind them, all will soar higher than any could alone...I know you don't understand yet, but when you do, remember...They need you, but they won't always be kind. It won't come easy, so I'm sending you to join the one who'll help you endure, in...HUFFLEPUFF!"

Ah, sublime set at last complete. The Sorting Hat knows varied versions of these lovely lads will gain greatness in other worlds, too, and is happy to have met them in this one. All together now...


	2. Different Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts AU where the lads meet the hat

"Barrett, Roger!"

The Sorting Hat suppresses a sob. Oh, no...poor soul...This isn't likely to get better. Haven't seen the like since Vincent's mad landscapes. Still, though, there's possibility he could bring the others together. Give him a chance...

"Let's see...You could go almost ANYWHERE, my boy. No real way to say, except that you'll manage to stand out in front and somehow inspire love even when you don't know what you're doing. Better be...GRYFFINDOR!"

"Gilmour, David!"

What a lovely contrast. This one will certainly live long and prosper.

"MyMY, aren't YOU something...and don't you know it? Oooh, touch of snippy snapback, too? Another obvious...GRYFFINDOR!"

"Mason, Nick!"

Brim curves in grin at ready acceptance. Some come easy...

"You embody all the noble traits of house...HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Waters, George!"

Hat has not once encountered such fierce recoil in untold time of employment. Took all of brilliant boy's resolve to remain outwardly resolute while terrified of this meeting. Nearly ran away to play muggle in hopes of avoiding...

"Calm down, Lad. I promise this isn't Thought Control."

So many doors half-concealing tall shelves of infinite potential stretching to cerebral ceilings, yet all attempting to slam shut under inquiry. Never seen such secrecy in one so young, nor been so curious as to what one might become.

"Shrewd suspicion, clever cunning. Remember, though, that walls require checkpoints. You knew if you could survive me that you'd be sorted into...SLYTHERIN!"

Wishing to add "Go in peace." Hat understands troubled young man is precociously aware he will have precious little. The world will not be kind to this one, but he can take it, and perhaps endurance shall enlighten others.

"Wright, Richard!"

Oh! He's the sensitive artist they all wish they could be. Unaffected, yet serious and dedicated.

"You care about getting it right, and will work hard even when unappreciated. Sorting you with others who will understand, hopefully to help stiffen spine, when you work with those who disregard your efforts, into...RAVENCLAW!"

Who knows WHAT will happen with these lads in this world? Access to actual magic may play out differently, and maybe they'll stay together.


	3. Come To This House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts AU where the lads meet the hat

"Daltrey, Roger!"

The Sorting Hat settles atop blond curls with a slight chuckle, knowing exactly where ones with more balls than brains belong.

"Such swagger...impressive confidence, and dauntless disregard for authority. That can be a valuable virtue, because those in charge aren't always right, but if you don't learn to obey a leader who KNOWS what he's doing, things might get...messy. GRYFFINDOR!"

"Entwistle, John!"

Ooh, intriguing… kind, considerate empathy, intelligent dedication, yet also iconoclastic core of steel strangeness with darkly deviant underpinnings.

"You're an odd one, lad, and perversely proud of it. Suppose I should sort you where weirdness won't be discouraged. Better be...GRYFFINDOR!"

"Moon, Keith!"

Hat's uproarious laughter shocks whole Great Hall. This one defies description...

"Oh, ho, ho, ho! What a wild and naughty creature you are! NO house could contain YOU! Both mad AND bad, but ever-so sweet. Guess you have to go where puckish pranksters abide...until they sometimes spontaneously combust...GRYFFINDOR!"

"Townshend, Peter!"

Nearly blown away, Hat struggles to make sense of snarling feedback. Seams strain to contain Wall Of Sound and blazing brilliance.

"Dial it back, boy, I can't hear myself think...Thank you...Let's see...Well, you'd terrorize Hufflepuff but could shine equally in any of the other three. Mymy, most your age can't even PRONOUNCE 'Machiavelli', yet you've already mastered manipulative machination...Slytherin? Seeing through the mist and thirsty for more, able to discern deeper truth...Ravenclaw? Oh, trying to tell me how to do my job, are you? Fine, then, for sheer cheek...GRYFFINDOR!"

Head Of House has work cut out. That tower will ROCK! Only death can part them now.


End file.
